My Personal "Complaint Resolution" Process

Pool and ocean view of/from our recent AirBnB stay at “The Onion House” in Kona, HI.

Today's Q&A blog question:

" Jaimee, How do you stay so positive?"
(This question comes from an Instagram direct message–permission granted to post, private account/privacy retained.)

Aside from the increased frequency of relaxing vacations I've been taking lately, I've wrestled throughout my whole life with staying positive, as many people do. But, I'm constantly iterating my way through feeling and thinking better thoughts more often. Of course, negative things exist in the world, and negative things happen to people I love and to me. But I realized I could acknowledge these things without giving them momentum via rebroadcast. Instead, I ask myself, "Can I do anything to change this?" 

If "yes," I take action or make a plan/get help with taking action. 

If "no," I choose something better to spend my valuable time and energy on. This sort of "choice-making" translates into genuinely feeling better inside and out. 

Because I am genuinely feeling better due to these choices I'm making inside my head, the energy I'm transmitting is much more positive. I am noticing that people around me are feeling it – not just in person but also through my posts and my doodle journal.

One of the ways I'm shifting toward more positivity is how I navigate things that bother me. A big one is COMPLAINTS.

Fact: Ken gently pointed out one day that my complaint frequency had increased quite a lot and was becoming… quite a lot. I needed to hear this because I didn't even realize I was doing it. 

Once I had an awareness, I was catching it all the time. It was like that thing where you notice a bright orange car in traffic one day, then suddenly you start seeing a lot of same-orange colored cars everywhere you go. 

Once I could see it, my complaint frequency was (and may still be) pretty high. Important detail: it wasn't even that I was complaining about new things all the time, but the same things over and over. As if I were stuck in some weird muck-pond of negativity that I didn't even realize I was standing in, and it's all I can focus on. 

That's not who I want to be, and that's not what I want in my life. In an effort to phase that sort of junk-thinking out, I started thinking about a Complaint Resolution Process that allows me to complain about a thing three times, max. (Max meaning, less is strongly encouraged because some things do not deserve this much time in my head or in my friends’/familys' ears.) Because even in a really crappy situation, I have agency over how I respond to that situation. I have agency over what I put back into the world.

Here's a process I've been practicing for the things that dig in enough to be vocalized:

ONE:

The first-time complaint is awareness and venting. Kind of like taking out the emotional trash but being mindful of where that trash is dumped. It can't just go anywhere and everywhere all willy-nilly.

Note: If you don't have a designated source (trusted friend, partner, therapist, etc.) for venting, you might be dumping in the wrong place(s.)

TWO:

The second-time complaint is time to brainstorm solutions. If I haven't already, a second complaint about the same ol' thing means I need to ask myself what pieces I have control over and what I can do to change or accept the situation.

Note: A great designated source can shed some outside perspective and solution ideas.

THREE:

The third-time complaint is an acknowledgment that I control the impact the thing has on me and choose resolve by putting solutions into action.

Note: A great designated source will only tolerate complaints about the same darn thing so many times before they look you in the eyes and say, "Time to DO SOMETHING about this, or quit complaining about it." Because your complaints become heavy and toxic to them, too.

If I'm still complaining about the same thing after "three," maybe the problem is not the thing I'm complaining about and maybe I should focus on adjusting the "me" bits first.

This whole process has me looking at how I process things that bother me, in general. I've started asking myself why I'm bothered and if it deserves that energy (or any energy.) This approach isn't a default state, it's another thing I have to practice mindfully, but it's definitely contributing to a more positive state overall. I want more of that in my life, so I keep on practicing. 

Outside this practice, I've been taking more time to breathe, appreciate, and exist in gratitude. That might sound a little "hooey" for some folks, but for real… it's working out!

Have a question for me? Email me here or leave a comment. I'd love to hear from you!

❤ Jaimee

Q&A post: Jaimee - What are you up to lately?

It's been a while since I posted on the Q&A blog, but I have received quite a few questions, especially since the podcast I launched this Spring. So, I want to bring this back! I have a few Qs to answer/catch up on, but if you happen to be reading this and have a question for me, I operate AMA-style! So either post in the comments or email me. Be sure to let me know if you prefer to remain anonymous or if you want to be mentioned by a specific name, initials, etc.

R.L. asks, “Jaimee, What are you up to lately?”

That’s a nice question, R.L., and thank you for caring enough to ask!
I feel like I’ve done quite a lot since the last Q&A post back in 2016, and with such a gap in the Q&A posts, I feel like I should do a quick overview of then—> now, then dive into the current details.

I had just left my post at MartianCraft to focus on Picture This Clothing, which was strong and all-consuming from 2016-2018. 2019 brought a big slow down, then the pandemic came along and shook us like a snow globe in the hands of a four-year-old, and the little blizzard is still kinda settling. Sales in 2020 were more substantial than in 2019, but we had an onslaught of personal health challenges on top of global pandemic stuff, and re-prioritization rippled through everything.

When sales slowed significantly in 2021, Ken and I decided to take a step back to focus on more/other things, like health and bike riding, starting new ideas, and closing the loop on a few things left open pre-Picture This (PTC.) PTC is still going, and our outstanding teammate Wilson runs the day-to-day manufacturing component. We also manufacture a few other things (e.g., pixelthisclothing.com, sambarskyoriginal.com)

The printed replicas of internet-famous Sam Barsky's unique sweater art sell very well and have been on the rise in popularity since January '22. It's a very exciting turn of events to see such growth! You can visit Sam's t-shirt store here.

What else are we doing?

1. Trucks. We bought four Chevy P10 trucks of the 1960s era to overhaul and turn into food trucks. We’re learning a ton in the process, like, everything will take 10x longer and cost 10x more than planned. Normally I would have said 3x longer/more costly. But right now, even 10x feels like a generous assessment. Pshhhh. Learning a lot, though!

2. Writing. I released my first book in Jan with the goal of releasing my second in March. I miscalculated by a lot how challenging it would be to translate all the learnings and feedback from my first book experience into making the second one way better.
   So, I’m behind and a little intimidated by it, but slowly chipping at it between self-doubts and distracting myself with other “priorities.”

3. Family. I’m a mom. Sophia and Zia are 17 and 13. I decided I wanted to just be present at home more instead of spending so much time at the shop. Sometimes that’s just hanging out at home. And sometimes going on food adventures and little mini-vacations.
   
   Faraway Gas Station. Zia and I started doing this during the pandemic. We get in the car, decide how long we want to be gone (1 hr, 2 hrs, all day, etc.), we choose a direction (N, S, E, W) and we drive until we reach a gas station. Often, one we’ve never been to before. And we have the constraint of making sure we can charge the car somewhere so we can make it back home. These have been really fun adventures that give us great one-on-one conversation time.

   Foster-Fail. Ken cares for a couple colonies of street kitties, feeding them every single night, and organizing a lot of TNR for the areas surrounding our Picture This office. My role in this is more a support role, and one of being a really terrible foster parent to cats. We have taken in several that were in really rough shape, with the objective of rehabilitating, then finding forever homes for them. When you foster but grow too attached to these little creatures to let them leave the safety and love you can offer them, it’s called “Foster-fail.” Turns out, I’m super good at this!

4. People. I have low-key been collaborating with CPO’s and HR teams to assess and offer feedback on their training and development programs, specifically for Design + Developer leadership within agencies and non-tech industries. THIS is where I have found my strength (or calling, if you will?)
   This work builds off of my entire tech career history, leverages my coaching and personal life-design experience, and challenges my growth by learning more about how the HR side of companies works. At first, I felt a little like a designer infiltrating HR to help them understand how tech folks are a little different (because tech people are my people, and I have quite a history of not-fitting in traditional corporate structures, hence designing my own paths/ways.) But I’ve learned so much and I’m grateful for more opportunities to grow in the “people” direction.
   To the credit of those I’ve been lucky enough to work with so far, it takes a very open-minded HR team to be up for this kind of respectful collaboration and being open to a UX-design person’s perspective to collaboratively “up their game” on employee development and engagement. I am LOVING IT.
   This work is leading to more great things I didn’t really see coming, which I’ll share in a future post (or multiple posts.)

5. Travel. Ken has a lot of anxiety around travel, so the girls and I have done a few trips on our own. We took a road trip to Monterey, CA, singing in the car the whole entire time. We decided our in-car band is called “The CarGoyles” and we only perform while in transit.
   We also made a trip out to Wisconsin to visit baby-CoCo, the new daughter of Josh and Angela (Ken’s sis). We stayed with them in their lake house. It was such a relaxing trip. I had no email to check or work to think about. I was just PRESENT in the moment, and every bit of it was fresh air.
   On another mini-getaway, we got a hotel room about an hour away at a Best Western in Boulder City, NV that has a sweet indoor pool. It was a Tuesday, and we had the place completely to ourselves for all but an hour or two. I’m in Hawaii this week. I booked “The Onion House” all to ourselves, and I’m very much enjoying hanging out with my girls by the pool, writing, and eating for five days. We have a rental car for misc island travel, so it’ll also be an opportunity for The CarGoyles to perform. We’re not doing a lot of touristy stuff, but mostly hanging out in relaxation in the quiet of our AirBnB, and venturing out to experience local foods and coffees.

6. Feeling. I’ve been taking more time to feel my way through things. This is how I designed exactly the life I wanted (to a point) before, which erupted into Picture This Clothing. It’s amazing what the universe will serve up and how fast, when you are mindful and open–everything you think you want can happen so fast it knocks you off your game. So, now it’s about practicing and being even more mindful than ever before.
   I am practicing being thoughtful about what I choose to bring into each day. I’ve been writing down the things I love doing and welcoming more of those things into my life. I’ve been using my morning coffee doodles as a form of creative release, journaling, learning, and intention setting. It’s helping me shut out the noise and ugliness of the world, so I can focus on my part of contributing something good/kind/positive to the world. That does not mean I’m denying or refusing to see ugliness that absolutely exists. I’m choosing how I handle and process it, so I can be a more effective change.
   Playing into the whole feeling thing is a weekly experimental video-chat I have with my friend Stephan. We record every call, and we’re calling it “Unconstrained.” If you want to check that out, you can find it here on YouTube. Note: we’re figuring out the tech and the video bits as we go. Your patience is welcome. :)

That’s a pretty hearty run-down of what I’ve been up to, especially this year. I’d love to hear what YOU are up to!

Have a question for me? Email me here! I truly love hearing from you and answering questions is a lot of fun!

<3 Jaimee

Q&A post: Jaimee - Are you still at MartianCraft?

Helloooooo Friends! I hope you all had a fantastic Thanksgiving holiday!

I've been hearing this question a lot, so I'm writing to share some exciting news. As of today, I am stepping out of my role as Chief Operations Officer at MartianCraft in order to put focus on Picture This Clothing (picturethisclothing.com). 

PTC unexpectedly went viral about a week after we launched (Launched August 17, 2016) and after seeing how it was going to play out over the last three months, it's clear that this is where I need to put the bulk of my attention. I did try juggling two full time gigs (plus being a mom and whatnot) there for a couple months, but whoosh! Doing all that is more than I can sustain for any greater length of time.

I will remain an advisor/coach with MartianCraft's C-level team, which is how I originally started with MartianCraft more than a year ago. It's a bitter-sweet change for me because I absolutely adore MartianCraft and the amazing team there. At the same time, my new thing is also pretty exciting and it needs a great deal of love if it's going to thrive.

Ben Brooks will be taking over the Chief Operations Officer role at MartianCraft, all will be in great hands with him and Kyle.

<3

<3

Chris M. asks: What Kind of Coaching Do You Do?

Q: WHAT KIND OF COACHING DO YOU DO? ARE YOU TAKING NEW CLIENTS?

A:
Chris, this seems to be one of those questions I get asked a lot. And since I started offering my services as a coach, I've spent some time refining and targeting my offerings based on what I've been able to help clients with the most. Let's start with your second question first!

YES! I'm almost ALWAYS taking on new clients. If you're curious about how that works, there's a Q&A form to the right, under my mugshot, let's schedule some time to talk!

As for what kind of coaching I do, I've broken it into 3 chunks:

CORPORATE/ENTERPRISE COMPANIES 

Many of my corp/enterprise clients have worked very hard to embrace rapid and collaborative development processes via Agile and UX methodologies, or are seeking to fold more design thinking and multi-disciplinary collaboration into their companies, products and teams. Sometimes making such shifts is a big challenge. Sometimes teams resist or don't understand the value. Sometimes it's the teams that want the change and it's the executive level team that doesn't fully understand the value. And often, my corporate and agency clients offer my individual coaching as a benefit to their employees, so I can help them stay engaged and growing professionally, and personally.

I bring insight, perspective and practices proven to improve the culture, collaboration, and product processes. These teams do the hard work, I am there to help keep them pointed in the right direction. 

DEV/DESIGN AGENCIES

My agency clients tend to have very nimble, efficient teams but run into team-client communication challenges, and/or team development challenges. Smaller teams tend to wear many hats, and don't often have time for building team development strategies. THIS is where I come in.

I have experience growing design and development teams as a unit and on an individual level, evolving interpersonal communications from interns to C-level execs. I help these companies by tailoring improvements around their specific needs. I work with them to create happier/healthier team ecology and vastly improved relationships with clients. 

INDIVIDUALS

My individual clients range across writers, developers, musicians, interior designers, UX practitioners, managers, directors and C-level executives in pursuit of improvement and growth, personally and professionally.  

Often my corporate and agency clients offer my individual coaching as a benefit to their employees. Many of my individual clients are independent professionals seeking to change careers, find focus and passion, take their career to the next level, get through burnout or improve overall life rituals and habits.

I hope this answers your question, Chris. If not, though please feel free to ask for more!

Mr. @Hay Asks:

Q: Could you share your reason to record at 0430?

A: YES! As a matter of fact, I get this question a lot and I have a beautiful 15-minute window right now, so let's answer this! 

In regard to my 4:30am YouTube video journal series.
Last Oct-Nov I had 3 back-to-back trips: Florida, then Ireland, then Boston. Somewhere along the way we also had the time change (Fall back an hour), and ever since my body clock has had me waking up somewhere between 4-4:30am PST.

On Nov 30, I decided to kick December off with a daily writing project called #31days31people. Every post was started at 4:30am, as well. My household begins stirring around 6:30am, so this ended up being PERFECT.

I've been wanting to try all these things - write MORE, figure out how to make a YouTube channel even if it isn't pretty, and a whole bunch more stuff that I plan to continue unfolding throughout the year. But like many of us, life gets in the way and I kept finding all the reasons why I COULDN'T do all these things I wanted to do. Then the whole body clock shift happened so I seized the moment and have been running with it ever since. I don't know if it will last but so far, I am kicking off every day by putting something positive out into the world, which feels nice. Then I either run or do yoga, depending on the day, and by 6:30a the household is waking and it's getting kids ready for school then settling in for a day of work, which varies day-to-day.
By 8:30pm I'm mostly pooped.

Also, I've received the question:
"If you're waking up at 4:30am, what time are you going to bed?" 
Typically around 9pm. Later when I'm worried about something, slightly earlier if all is well. 
I believe heartily in getting plenty of sleep,  that is also a thing that my body decided to do pretty much on its own in June of 2009. Another story for another day.